Features / Together for Change
‘I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fear of looking behind my back’
The fear is pretty much a constant companion for Ben* when he leaves home to go out in his neighbourhood.
“A lot of people my age and in my area are pretty frightened to go outside at certain times or in certain areas,” says the 17-year-old, quietly.
“We are constantly having to look behind our back and feeling scared. If we see something in the distance and it’s dark, the heart will start beating fast and stuff like that – we are very scared.
is needed now More than ever
“It’s caused a lot of us not to go out or be together as much because a lot of stabbings are happening and we’re just trying to avoid that. And then everyone’s just paranoid right? There’s the fear of getting stabbed.”
The teenager from St Jude’s has chosen to speak to Bristol24/7 anonymously to give an insight into the reality for so many of the city’s young people amid what has been described as an “epidemic” of knife crime.
Tributes to Darrian Williams, 16, who is one of the young people who have lost their lives to knife crime in Bristol this year
Ben knows two people who have been stabbed and, while both survived, he says the psychological trauma not just on the victims but on their friends is immense, with all too little support available for them to get through it.
He says that growing up in the neighbourhood, it wasn’t like this.
“Before, there were problems, but it wasn’t to do with knives and stuff,” he tells Bristol24/7, adding that a big part of the problem is that now more people are carrying knives because they are scared and think it will help keep them safe.
“It’s having a big impact on me and my friends,” Ben continues.
“There are certain situations where my friends don’t feel safe walking home after school. We’ll come together to get an Uber. I used to leave the house a lot. Now I barely leave my house.”
Ben is speaking out in the wake of a number of tragic fatal stabbings this year in Bristol and the launch of a citywide campaign against knife crime.
He says there is a real lack of safe spaces in some neighbourhoods, with some places, such as sports centres, often being out of bounds because of the cost.
“If you have more youth clubs in places like Easton and St Jude’s and St Paul’s, then this situation would be reduced a lot because people would have somewhere to go to so they would feel safe in that area and parents would know where their kids are,” Ben tells Bristol24/7.
He adds that things like better lighting, more support and more activities for young people would all make a difference.
Ben* says better provision of youth centres and lighting would help in keeping young people safe in the city
Speaking about the lack of counselling and emotional support for young people affected by knife crime, he says: “Once a person is stabbed, a lot of people will be frightened throughout the next day, and even afterward.
“We get a lot of people feeling paranoid the next time they go out. You will look behind your shoulder every five seconds. I think someone needs to offer some counselling and a safe space.”
Ben himself has been chased through the streets.
When asked about this, he shrugs, saying: “It’s terrifying, yeah. But, at the same type, it’s fight or flight.”
He adds that in the current climate, there is no time to determine if the people you’ve encountered are a real threat, it’s safer just to run.
Ben adds that while there is always an outpouring of grief when something bad happens, there is still a reluctance to work on prevention and provide safe spaces, education and support for young people.
“Unless you’re bleeding, no one will care about what’s happened,” he says.
The fear has made some of his friends determined to leave the city and start afresh somewhere new.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fear of looking behind my back,” Ben adds, but says he would rather stay in his area and try to make things better than leave.
Khalil Abdi says the time for collective action is now
Khalil Abdi is the chair and founder of Bristol Horn Youth Concern, which works with young people in St Paul’s, St Jude’s, Lawrence Hill and Easton to provide support and organise activities.
Khalil says the time for collective action is now.
“What is missing is somewhere safe for the young people,” Khalil tells Bristol24/7.
“When we have youth centres, there are a lot of youth workers and young people can talk more about how they’re feeling. We don’t have that in the inner city.
“And when something happens, there is no follow up – that young person becomes a victim, his friends and community are affected and they do not have support. The assurance is not there that they will be safe. And seeing young people not feeling safe is heartbreaking.
“The city is a great city, now faith, business, city leaders, parents and schools need to come together and work and how we can stop this. We didn’t address earlier and now it’s exposed. I think the key is to come and listen to young people.”
Khalil also speaks of the importance of educating young people about knife crime and the serious consequences of carrying a knife.
“If a child kills someone then two families lose their child,” he says.
“One has lost his life, the other has gone to prison. You take away a life and take away a family’s child.
“It’s important for children to know that, as a parent, as a teacher, as a community, we are here. Please don’t carry a knife. If you need help, we are here we can help you, we can support you.
“As a community, as a city, we need to stop this.”
*Name has been changed to protect anonymity
All photos: Ellie Pipe
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