Columnists / Ngaio Anyia
‘The only thing that was holding me back was fear’
I feel quite emotional today. Partly because it’s the Thursday after Love Saves The Day and my body is feeling more than a little abused, but mostly because I don’t remember the last time I felt this proud of myself.
It feels weird to say. Maybe it’s a woman thing or a British thing that whenever we feel great about ourselves it’s boastful, or crass, or undignified. But, fuck that.
A month ago I quit my full time job to invest in myself. Just me. Alone. And Jesus, I was terrified. Terrified because, who the hell do I think I am? I’ve got a god damn mortgage and a cat! Who’s going to feed the cat when I crash and burn?! (Sidenote: turns out that’s not an issue, my friends visit him more than me)
is needed now More than ever
Seriously though, what was going to happen when it all fell apart?
Now, I think it’s important to recognise that this is only the first month and it’s still very early days but I have achieved so much in such a short time and it’s not only catapulted my confidence but also made me realise that the only thing that was holding me back – the only thing that holds most people back, is fear.
On Bank Holiday Monday I hosted a book launch for Emma Gannon’s The Multi Hyphen Method in conjunction with Bumble – a company focussed on empowering women and encouraging them to make the first move in life, love and work.
I’m saving it for my holiday read but the Q&A with her publisher and then the audience at The Florist was inspirational. No longer are we living in a society where there’s a blueprint to success – more and more we are having to learn how to be creative and flexible.
I took a chance on myself when I left the 9-5 and I can already tell the work/life balance is going to be tricky, because I love my jobs – all 25 of them! (I joke, it’s more like seven)
But it can be hard to measure your success when you’re travelling around on a little island for one. So I’m going to try my hardest to check in with myself (and any interested readers) to what’s been going on so that when I’m having a WTF day, I can look back and see what’s been achieved.
So, these are the things I’m most proud and thankful of this month:
- Getting a one day a week job as inclusion officer for Artspace Collective and The Invisible Circus
- Singing at my best friend’s wedding
- Singing at St George’s – my favourite acoustic venue in Bristol
- Getting awesome feedback for my One Dance x Abra cover
- DJing at Love Saves The Day (first time!)
- DJing at Motion (first time!)
- DJing at a Red Bull party (first time!)
- Receiving two wicked remixes back from tracks off my debut EP
- Decorating my house
- Going to a Thatcher’s tasting evening
It’s been a good month!
Ngaio Anyia is a writer, musician and DJ
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