Your say / Bristol
2021 in Bristol: the greatest of all time
Martin Booth gazes into his crystal ball to see what will be happening in Bristol over the next 12 months
January
Days before another full national lockdown is announced by prime minister Boris Johnson, Bristol mayor Marvin Rees decides to put Bristol into tier 3+. It’s just the same as tier three but each of the plastic bollards used to mark the city’s pop-up cycle lanes are repurposed to also dispense hand sanitiser.
is needed now More than ever
February
An unexpected consequence of the latest lockdown is that the goats recently introduced to Stoke Park to graze the scrub around the Purdown gun battery now roam freely through the streets of Lockleaze. One plucky duo make it to Gloucester Road where they are spotted helping themselves to expensive succulents from a recently opened miniature plant shop.
March
Edward Colston’s statue goes on display at the M Shed. Only hours after it is unveiled, however, protesters throw it back into the harbour.
April
Bristol’s Nightingale Hospital opens. Only hours after it is opened, however, in a digital ceremony presided over by prime minister Priti Patel, it is forced to close as nobody remembered that it needed toilets.
Bristol’s Nightingale Hospital is based at UWE’s Exhibition & Conference Centre – photo: Martin Booth
May
For the second year running, Bristol’s mayoral elections are postponed. In the week before election day, Marvin Rees unexpectedly withdraws from the race. He announces that he and his family, including his wife, Kirsten, who is an American citizen, are moving to Washington DC where he will become Joe Biden’s spiritual adviser.
June
After a month of Bristol being governed by our two deputy mayors, Asher Craig and Craig Cheney, it becomes clear that the pair sharing the same name is proving too complicated. Neither Craig nor Craig, however, want to change their name so they both resign.
July
Speed climbing at the Tokyo Olympics captivates the nation. Within the space of a fortnight, seven new climbing centres open in Bristol, including one within the former Harbourside car park, which has not seen a single car for months due to most people still working from home.
August
An interim cabinet is put together by head of the mayor’s office, Kevin Slocombe, but it soon falls apart due to bitter disagreements over whether to restore the name Council House to City Hall and the millions of pounds now being spent on promotional #wearebristol videos.
September
West of England metro mayor Samuel Williams is told by Conservative Central Office to take over the day-to-day running of Bristol. But instead, it is decided that Bristol Citizens’ Assembly should go from the drawing board to fully fledged city leadership. So “a randomly selected group of people who broadly reflect the diverse communities of Bristol” now run the city via a WhatsApp group.
October
The first action of the Citizens’ Assembly is to introduce a Low Emission Zone covering most of the centre of Bristol. In response, motoring groups block roads into the city, unwittingly helping to improve air quality.
The M32 during the first lockdown in April 2020 – photo: Simon Holliday
November
University freshers begin to move into temporary accommodation within former shops in Broadmead. Each room has been constructed with the latest home-learning facilities, with Bunsen burners in the bedrooms of chemistry students and extra colouring pens supplied at discount price for geographers.
December
With London now in tier five due to the fifth wave of coronavirus, Bristol is put into tier four by prime minister Gavin Williamson. The Citizens’ Assembly unanimously places the city in tier 4-, in the same meeting appointing to their newest task force the leader of the Purdown goats in order to meet equality quotas.
Martin Booth is the Editor of Bristol24/7. Main photo: Martin Booth
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